My “Sex Talk”

From the very beginning, both of my parents always encouraged an open, honest conversation about the seemingly icky things in life. My first conversation about sex happened when I got my first kinda-real boyfriend at 15. I knew it was coming by the nervous way they asked me to sit down on the couch, telling me there was something they wanted to talk about. At this age, I had zero interest in sleeping with with any guys. In all honesty, I hadn’t even had my first kiss yet, and in the 2 and 1/2 weeks my kinda-boyfriend and I dated, it never happened.

But what did happen was an honest conversation with my parents about sex, and how it affected relationships. We talked about how sex as a fine, natural part of life, and something they were fine with me doing- so long as I was careful with not just my body, but my heart. Beyond the usual ‘wear a condom, don’t get pregnant’ spiel, my mom sat me down to help me realize that sex was an incredibly emotional thing as well. I realized this, and that’s why I was in no way ready to start having sex at 15. I knew whoever I had sex with, I wanted to love them. I was definitely not ready to make my body and heart so vulnerable to anyone yet, especially not the guy I was dating at the time.

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#nannylife- Sample Infant Information Sheets

 So, here I am, less than a week away from beginning my newest journey as a full-time nanny! In the spirit of both organization, and having a bit too much time on my hands, I came up with these info sheets I thought would be helpful to anyone starting a new nanny position. I’m attempting to keep things as organized as possible, as I’ll be part of a nanny share with 3 families! This means I’ll have a ‘home base’ with my full-time family where the other two families will bring their child for care one day a week each (not on the same days). This works out so that I’ll never be caring for more than two infants at a time. That being said, all of the children in my care are under a year old, ages currently 1 month, 3 months, and 6 months. So, these sheets are designed with infants in mind, but the general idea is that it’s important for any caregiver to be able to have information about the child available for reference, and contact info in case of emergency. Continue reading

Thursday, 1/2/14

Dear Austin: Get ready, cause I’m comin for ya!! 2 more days :) Dear Jacob: I love you and miss you so much! I’m so happy to know that I’ll get to see you in just two short days. I hate feeling helpless here at home while you’re in Austin sick. Hang in there, and I’ll see you soon. Dear Grapevine: I’ll miss you dearly, I really will. As much as I love Austin, I know how much I’ll enjoy coming home to your quiet little corner of the metroplex. Dear Mom, Dad, and Alex: I will miss you all so much too! I sort of got used to being away during first semester, but things are going to be different this time. Jacob and I will still visit, and not just on holidays :) I love you all and can’t wait for the first time you visit me in Austin. Dear Love: You make me so happy. Beyond words even. All I know is that I’ve never been so excited for something. I’m excited for us to have our very own apartment and live together! I’m excited to continue to love you and grow with you in everything we have to come. I will love you always. See you on Saturday, darling<3

Today’s Letters

Today I came across a blog in which a husband and wife share a journal and write letters to each other daily. Occasionally they share these on the blog, an example can be found here. I love this idea and though I may not share a physical copy of these letters, I think it’s nice to collect these little daily thoughts as a reminder of how great even the smallest things are. I’ve gathered my letters from the last week or so, and posted them below:

Sunday- 11/17/2013
Dear Dad: Thank you for scaring the crap out of me, then pleasantly surprising me by how much you and Jacob really got along. Dear Mom: You were right. He’s a keeper :) Dear Little Brother: I knew you would like him! Playing video games together is the perfect way to win you over. Dear J: Thank you for everything today. I loved walking through my city with you hand-in-hand. I loved seeing you in Grapevine, loved seeing you feel at home in my home. Today couldn’t have been more wonderful because of you. Dear Hometown: Stay beautiful, Grapevine.

Monday- 11/18/2013
Dear Vikki: I’m sorry I was late to math. Again. Dear J: We just spent the whole weekend together, but I missed not seeing you today. The day was a little quieter, but you still made me feel loved. Thank you for that darling :)

Tuesday- 11/19/2013
Dear J: Today you surprised me with a morning visit! You brighten my day, and I was so happy to see you before I went to class.

Wednesday- 11/20/2013
Dear Stomach: I know you hate Panda Express. I’m so sorry.

Thursday- 11/21/2013
Dear J: Today we spent an evening playing pool, and you convinced me that one band guy really does like me for some reason… We finished the night with Netflix in bed, which has become one of my favorite things now :)

Friday- 11/22/2013
Dear Dad: Happy Birthday!! I wish I could have spent it with you, but I was so glad that we had our time on the phone, and happy that you and Jake get along so well when you talked. Dear Jacob: Today you sat through the cold, wind, and freezing rain to watch my colorguard practice. The practice was awful and I couldn’t give my best performance because of the weather, but having you there really did cheer me up. I still feel terrible you had to sit through that, but it just makes me all the more sure of how much you love me. Dear Texas weather: Fuck you.

Saturday- 11/23/2013
Dear Jake: Today you came to the football game!! It made me so happy to look up into the stands during my performance and see you smiling back down at me. Again, you sat through the cold, wind, and freezing rain for me, and you earned about 1500 points for that and yesterday. I love you so much.

Sunday- 11/24/2013
Dear Jake: Today I met your parents. I’m not gonna lie, I was super intimidated and nervous. But I got there and you made me feel comfortable and eased my fears. Also, we watched the Cowboys beat the Giants, so it was obviously a good day :) Dear J’s Dad: Thank you for being a Cowboys fan! I hope I didn’t disappoint anything Love’s told you about me. I hope you know just how wonderful your son is. Dear J’s Aunt: Thank you for keeping conversation up at dinner. I tend to get quiet when I’m nervous, but you kept the talking flowing and even brought up the biggest dinner conversation that saved me :) Dear J’s Mom: Please like me. Please.

Monday- 11/25/2013
Dear Math professor: I’m sorry no one showed up to class today. Matrices are awesome, you’re right, and everyone loves college algebra, I promise. Dear J: Today I went shopping with Vikki and found a perfect Christmas gift for you!! I hope you like it :) Dear Starbucks: Thank you for so loving the world that you sent your only caramel apple spice. That stuff is magical delicious. Dear Love: Today we managed to get into an orchestra performance for free! Thank you for not getting upset when we were late because I told you the wrong building, woops.

Tuesday- 11/26/2013
Dear Love: Today is our last together before I go home for Thanksgiving. Two days seems short, and I know I haven’t said it yet, but I know I’m going to miss you. Hopefully pumpkin pie will tide me over until you come up on Friday :) Also, thank you for not judging me for totally taking apart my room in an attempt to clean up/pack. Thank you for telling me I’m beautiful as I walk around in leggings, a comfy sweatshirt, hair in a ponytail, without one spot of make-up on. You’re a beautiful person, and I adore you.

My Problem with the College Application Process

Dear essay reader,

You don’t know me.

At least, the real me.

Sure you’ve got the standard information; my name and address, where I go to school, my activities, and most importantly, my grades. But class rank and GPA is just a number. Of course the number is a representation though, a reflection of my dedication and commitment to schoolwork and achievement.

But… you don’t know me.

You don’t know my favorite color, who my friends are, or how I get along with my siblings. Sure, you know my parents names, their addresses, and how much money they make if you’re really interested, but you don’t know the impact they’ve had on me. You don’t know about the little sayings my mom tells me in Spanish to help get through tough times. You don’t know how my mom wakes me up on Saturday mornings, with a back rub and a cup of tea if its cold.

In this essay I write to you, I’m trying to reveal myself, but at the same time not seem vulnerable. I want to seem focused and concentrated, like I know what I’m doing in life, when in reality I’m just as scared and unsure as the next seventeen year-old. I want to seem confident, like I know what I want in life, even though my palms are sweating as I write this. I want you to believe I’ve got it all figured out, but you hold the key to my next step in life. So, I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you a little bit more about myself.

My name is Alyssa Racquel and I am 18 years old. I live in Grapevine, Texas, about ten minutes from DFW airport. Well… this got a little mundane quickly, didn’t it? My apologies. I love the color purple and everything about it. I love the versatility of it, how just a slight change of hue changes the whole feeling. A deep, eggplant purple is reminiscent of royalty, while a lighter lilac purple can evoke images of youth and innocence. I play guitar and write original songs. I have a fascination with spoken word poetry. I love the idea of poems with words that demand to be performed, not just sit on a piece of paper. I have written many spoken word poems, and found that they can help me sort out my feelings and thoughts towards a topic.

I love to create, anything and everything. From the aforementioned spoken word poems to a crafty gift for a friend, I love it all. There’s just something especially satisfying after hours of hard work to be able to look at a finished product and think, Hey, I made that. There is a certain sense of pride and joy in knowing that you have created something that has never been done before, that you have created something completely original. I love knowing that I write poems like no one else can. No one else has the same past experiences to draw on, no one has the same hopes, the same dreams, the same fears. My creations are truly an extension of my individuality, and a tribute to what makes me uniquely me.

I don’t want to be average. I want to be interesting, exciting. I strive to be different than all the rest. Of course I don’t want to be remembered in negative ways, though. I want to be known, to be recognized for my achievements. Lest you begin to think I feel entitled in any way, know that these are just my highest hopes, and also my deepest fears. I say I dislike being average, simply because I fear that I am. I say I want to be remembered, only because my biggest fear is being forgotten. I want you to remember this essay, go out and talk about how it was an essay like none you had ever read before, because only I can write an essay like this one.

You don’t know me.

But I hope, after reading this, that you’d like to.