20 Things I Thought I’d Be Able To Do By 20 (But Can’t)

Hey friends! Hope you didn’t mind my break last week. Jake and I were enjoying a relaxing weekend at Horseshoe Bay Resort, compliments of my ever-wonderful bosses! Jake and I have just been so busy on the weekends, last week was finally the weekend we could enjoy our Christmas present! The whole resort is gorgeous, and we had a super nice spa day that I highly recommend you go and check out for yourself. But enough about that. Friends, when I was young and naive [read: 16 years old], I was convinced that as soon as I graduated high school and left for college, that was it. I was an adult. I would have an apartment, go to school, go to bars and parties (eventually), and basically just have all my shit together. HA. HA. HA. There’s a lot I thought I would be able to do on my own by the age of 20, but here are 20 things that I definitely still can’t.

  1. Pay for my own rent, groceries, car payment, insurance, phone… basically everything. I figured by 20 years old I’d be 2 years into college and completely financially independent. HA! Life’s hard, guys. Shit’s real. While I do pay for basically all my own things (rent, food, clothes, etc.), I am 1000% grateful to still be on my parent’s insurance and cell phone plan. Also, Life is expensive. Like, really. I had to buy two new tires the other day, and it cost me $350, more than half a week’s pay!! You’d best believe I wasn’t turning down my parent’s help on softening the blow! While I do try my very best to buy all my own things, it’s super nice to have my parents to back me up every now and again.
  2. Wash my face without having water run down my elbows and get all over the counter. Seriously, Jake tells me to clean up my water mess at least once every single day, because I leave the bathroom counter so wet. Does everyone do this? Am I doing something wrong? Why doesn’t washing my face feel like a Clean & Clear commercial? I NEED ANSWERS.
  3. Sit through an entire basketball/football/baseball game without zoning out at least once. Sorry, Jake. I do make an effort to understand the game though, and hopefully that counts for something.
  4. Be okay with my friends/peers getting engaged. *Sigh* I know so many people who have gotten engaged/married already. We’re barely 3 years out of high school! I don’t know what I expected though, and I can’t really categorize them all. Some have been with their high school sweetheart for 5+ years now, and some are marrying people who they’ve been dating for a year, and I have no idea who they are. Is it because I’m jealous? Maybe. But, believe it or not, I don’t want to get married right now. I love Jake and of course want to eventually, but I feel like we are just in no place to get married now. I want the wedding of my dreams, not what we can barely afford as a student and a nanny. Maybe it’s because I’m also bitter about all these people being in college and being seemingly farther ahead in Life than me. Marriage is the next ‘adult’ step for lots of people, and maybe I’m upset I don’t feel ‘there’ yet. Of course I’m absolutely happy that all these people have found someone to love and who loves them, and someone to stand by them for the rest of their lives. Like, wow! What a wonderful thing to commit too. That’s all that should matter, honestly. I’m happy that they’re happy, even if I’m left feeling unsettled about my own state of affairs.
  5. Watch scary movies. When Jake and I first started dating, he somehow got me to watch The Conjuring, and I had nightmares for weeks about the demon witch showing up in my closet. I’ve never liked scary movies, and it looks like I won’t be seeing any more anytime soon! Jake has accepted this, and we’ve become pros at lining up movie times so he can watch a scary movie while I watch a chick flick, but time it so we only take one car to the movie theater :)
  6. Eat tomatoes. I’m not a picky eater, I promise. I eat sushi, Indian food, Greek food, Thai, vegan, you name it. I’ve eaten shark, octopus, oysters, eel, mutton, veal, bison… but I just can’t do tomatoes. I really really don’t care for tomato sauces, including marinara, spaghetti sauce, and even pizza sauce is only tolerable. I order every burger without tomatoes, and can’t handle a caprese salad. Also, I HATE ketchup. With a burning passion that even I don’t understand. Beyond a bite of Whataburger’s spicy ketchup about a year and a half ago (Jake made me. I did not enjoy it.) I can honestly say I haven’t eaten ketchup in years. I’ll take my fries with mustard or even plain! Yup, 20 years old and won’t eat tomatoes. Love you, mom!
  7. Ask for things. A very fatal flaw, I’m aware. Maybe I’m just shy in that way? I hate having to ask someone in the store for where something is. Even worse is asking for a change if my order of food was wrong. I’ve already started planning (and building up courage) for my annual review, even though it’s technically not until April 15th. As I write this I’m procrastinating going up to ask for a refill on my tea, something I know I’m entitled to and should take advantage of, but have never done before and am therefore nervous about. I think deep down I’m just actually terrified that people will say no to me? I should probably just get over myself and realize the whole world isn’t out to get me.
  8. Parallel park. Can anyone? Every time we drive downtown, Jake either drives for me, or we do that quick switch in the middle of the street so he can park my car for me. While I can make it work, expect it to take a good 10 minutes, and at least 15 turns. Sorry.
  9. Drink coffee on the reg. Friends, when I was in high school, I felt like I drank coffee all the time! What I was actually drinking was a blended mix of milk, foam, whipped cream, sugar, creme base, and maybe 2 shots of espresso. Not coffee. At 15, I knew the difference between a pumpkin spice latte and the mature ability to drink coffee black. Now, at 20, my stomach literally cannot handle caffeine whatsoever. No coffees, no RedBulls, sodas only in moderation (maybe one cup every other week.) I’m all about that herbal tea life, and I feel about 25 years older just typing that out.
  10. Figure out how to stop getting called Melissa. Friends, if I walked up to you and was like, “Hello, my name is Alyssa” you would think I’m some weird, polite robot and probably get freaked out. No, the socially acceptable thing to say is, “Hi, I’m Alyssa,” but it never fails to come out sounding like Melissa. Seriously, try it.Say it out loud right now. You said Melissa, right?! Crazy. So I always end up getting called Melissa the first time I meet someone, unless I’m like, UHlyssa, which is just obnoxious. So the conversation usually goes: “Hi, I’m Alyssa” “Nice to meet you, Melissa.” “No, it’s Alyssa” “Melissa?” “UHlyssa. No M” “Oh! Elisa?” and then I just give up. I once let a coworker call me Ehleesuh for weeks because I’m just over it. Know my name, or don’t.
  11. Wear heels all the time. Friends, apparently 14 year-old me had this notion that I was going to be some corporate boss ass bitch by the time I was 20. Ha! Not that I’m not doing great things, but I am in no way in a profession that lets me wear heels to work. Lucky lucky me gets to be barefoot all day chasing kids around the house, which is pretty cool, but also means I’m always standing at a very true 4′ 11″. It’s cool though, I’m taller than the kids, and that’s all that matters now ;) But really, I was waiting for the day when I had a ‘grown-up’ job that I could wear heels to every day, because sometimes an extra 3 inches of self is all I need for some confidence :)
  12. Shave my legs without nicking myself. Now, this isn’t something that happens regularly, but when it does, it’s always on an important day that I should definitely not have blood coming from my ankle. The last time was Valentine’s Day, and the time before was getting ready to go to wedding. Without fail, if I’m shaving my legs the day of an important event, I will nick myself.
  13. Give myself a blow-out. Get your head out of the gutter. You know when you (girls) get your hair cut and the hairstylist blow-dries your hair with a round brush and all the skill in the world? And how your hair magically has tons of volume and bounce and shine, and you haven’t touched it with a curling iron or a straightener? Okay, blow-outs are great, but simply impossible to replicate at home. I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time trying, and have come to the conclusion that it is physically impossible.
  14. Wear makeup with confidence. For me, less is always more. Day-to-day, I usually wear nothing more than a bit of tinted lip balm, and maaayyybe if I have time a swipe of mascara. So on days when I have tons of time to get ready and want to look good, I take the time to put on powder, eyeshadow, and *gasp* eyeliner. But I do makeup so infrequently that I’m actually not very good at it anymore! Like I can never get my eyeliner right, and it smudges without fail. I fail at makeup, friends.
  15. Party hard. Friends, I’ve been to exactly 4 big parties, drank exactly 4 different ‘trash can’ punches, and regretted it exactly 4 times. The 17 year-old self who mixed Skittles in Smirnoff Ice hates my 20 year-old self who can’t handle the sugar in a Coke anymore. My stomach literally can’t handle sugary alcohols, and I feel 60. Pour me that wine though!!
  16. Keep track of bobby pins, hair ties, headbands…. You get the idea. This one is just a girl thing, no? Like, I swear at least every other month I’m buying a packet of hair ties because I manage to lose(or break!) every last one. Damn you, Goody :P
  17. Be patient enough not to burn my tongue on every cup of tea I drink. No lie, this happened literally just right now. I had a free Starbucks reward to use, so I treated myself to a venti Chai Tea Latte rather than my usual tall (’cause I’m budget-conscious yo). Well I was very excited about having a whole 20oz of Chai Tea deliciousness in my mouth, drank it much too early, and now I probably won’t be able to properly taste anything for the next 24 hours. Cool.
  18. Stay friends with all my friends. I won’t get too deep into this one, because it makes me too sad. Is there anything better than high school friendships? My friend count has done nothing but dwindle since graduation, and it’s honestly the most sobering reminder of how different all our lives will be in just a few years. I’m forever grateful to the friends that have stuck by my side. Tori, I love you!!! She’s seriously the smartest person I know, and has quick wit and humor to boot. Never scared to give her opinion, but never one to fake that everything in her life is perfect. I love her, and you will too! You can check out her blog here.
  19. Know how to act in a fancy restaurant. Jake is so great about taking me out to nice places for birthdays, Valentine’s Days, etc., but I seriously get so nervous when I go somewhere super nice. It’s silly, of course, but I just always feel ever more judged since I know we look young. Also, I am NOT the most coordinated person, so there’s a high chance I’ll be leaving dinner with something in my teeth, or drink spilled on my lap.
  20. Accept the fact that I’m 20, and it’s okay not to have my shit together. Breathe, self. One day I’ll accomplish everything on this list, and then there will be 20 more things I thought I’d be able to do. Things on this new list include buying a house, raising a kid, running a business. Shit, that’s scary stuff. Exciting, but terrifying. How ’bout I just try not to get the bathroom counter all wet? That seems like a good goal for now.

 

TLDR, being an ‘adult’ isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Whodathunkit? I love you all, friends! Thanks for taking some time out of your day with me, and I can’t wait to see you here next week! *Hugs*

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