To My Forever Babies

Hey Little Ones,

When you’re old enough to read this, I hope you remember me. Unfortunately, you probably don’t. And won’t.

See, I took care of you when you were very very small. In fact, you were so tiny that your parents spent lots of time making sure you would be safe in my arms. When I first saw your face, you were just months old. We first met either in the infant classroom of your beloved preschool, or in your very own home.

Right now, you are still small (for the most part). For my classroom babies, it’s been almost a year since I changed your little diapers. Most of you will be turning 2 years old in the next few months. The other day I got the chance to go visit the preschool I taught at, and saw your smiling faces again. You (all 7 of you!) walked up to me with wonder and the look that you give someone when you know you recognize them, but you can’t quite remember from where. None of you were scared or hesitant, and each of you greeted me with a hug, and maybe even a kiss. But none of you ran screaming excitedly, or gave me that same smile you did when you used to walk into my classroom. It made me sad, sure, but of course I understand, as its been so long since I’ve seen you. It was the craziest thing seeing you all walking and talking! I had forgotten what it was like to be surrounded by so many little ones, and was nearly brought to tears when I hugged all of you at once. I had forgotten how strong my love for all of you was!

I want my classroom babies to know that I miss you, and that I love you all very much. It’s crazy to me that in the grand scheme of things I was only in your life for a split second, because you each had a huge impact on my life. It was there working in the preschool that I realized just how much I really loved working with you itty bitties, and just how interested I was in how quickly you grew and changed in your first year of Life. My little Butterflies, I miss you all.

To my nanny babies, it is SO amazing to watch you grow and learn each day. I’m writing this to be read to you in about 5-10 years, and though I love you both dearly, I can’t say with confidence that I’ll still be your nanny. You see, the thing about nannies is that eventually they get outgrown. Someday, you’ll be old enough to not need someone to take care of you every day. Someday, you’ll go to school to learn to read and write, and someday you’ll have Girl Scouts and football practice after school, and someday you’ll be able to drive yourself around. By that time you wouldn’t listen to anything I have to say anyway ;)

Sweet girl, I remember the day I first met your mom and dad. It was a chilly day in February, and I was pretty burnt out from doing other interviews. I had met with family after family, and was beginning to doubt that I would ever find a perfect match. People wanted to hire me, sure, but I knew even then I was looking for not just a short-time job to pay the bills- I was looking for a forever family who wanted me to be a part of you learning and growing each day. As soon as I left your house that day I knew that your mom and dad were going to be the best nanny family I could find, and I prayed they thought I would be a great nanny! Sweet girl, your smile always brightens up my day, and its absolutely incredibly how much you’ve grown in just under a year. I’ve been lucky enough to see you learn to roll over, sit up, crawl, babble, laugh, eat, use sign language, and just the other day I watched you take a few hesitant steps on your own. You fill my heart with so much pride and joy!!

Sweet boy, when I first met you I was honestly a little scared. I had never held a baby so tiny before! I got lucky though, and you napped most of my few hours with you that day. The next time I watched you though, you put me through the nanny test by crying with your mom just a room away! I remember you were tiny enough to hold in one arm while I held a book in my other hand. The very first book I read to you was ‘Snuggle Puppy’ and for some reason you loved to hear my made-up song that went along with the book. Now when I sing the song to you, you’ll quiet down and smile at me, which always makes me heart soar. Sweet boy, I’m going to be honest… there was a few rough months. After hours and days and weeks of your crying I wondered if I was really cut out for this. Could I really handle two babies? Did you simply not like me? What in the world was I doing wrong?! Now, you are one of the happiest babies I know. Like any boy, you love silly noises, making messes, getting swung around, things falling loudly, and when I toss balls into the air and let them hit my head ;) I’m so glad to see you smile each day.

My little ones, one day all of these wonderful words will be nothing but a memory. I don’t mean to be a downer, but its true. Like your parents, I get to watch you grow and learn each day. I get to play with you for hours on end, make your lunches with care, and tuck you in for naps. I get to have snuggles and kisses and excited shrieks when you see me. But unlike your parents, these moments are fleeting for me. Sure, I may stay with you a few years, but by the time you go off to college you might not even remember my name. Which is saddening, because I know I’ll never forget how much of an impact both of you had on my life. And you’ll never know just how deeply your tiny fingers have touched my heart. But that’s simply the nature of working with little ones. One day, they grow up and don’t remember anymore. But to me, the nanny, they’ll remain in my memory as babies, crawling, giggling, laughing. In my mind, you’ll stay little forever.

My forever babies.



2 thoughts on “To My Forever Babies

  1. Aww I love this! Made me a little teary – I thought of all the little babies I watched just until 3 or 4 years old. Old enough for a vague memory in the future but not old enough to remember our really fun times!

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